i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
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He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
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BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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