She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize