I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
