I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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