So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize