just survived the first fart of the relationship.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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