my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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