Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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