All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I think I won the penis lottery.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
