VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
