yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
