Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
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