Well douche your snatch and let's go!
thus making me awesome and them whores
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
