one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
