I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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