Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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