At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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