i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We need to get me chipped asap
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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