If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still dying that you shit outside
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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