he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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