I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
