Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
