Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
