I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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