She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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