apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Randomize
