I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
