is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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