it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
