Sponge bath it is.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize