Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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