i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
