I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
