Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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