Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize