so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
