But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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