STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Randomize
