he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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