gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
