Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
