Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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