literally had 100 drinks last night.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
