found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
it was like eating out sand paper
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
