yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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