the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
