chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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