i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Someone came in the potted fern
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
