so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
