You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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