i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
