You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
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Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
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Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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