dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize