Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
