Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
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