After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Actions speak louder than pants.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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