I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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