It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize