I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
