What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
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