1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
pray to the hookup gods
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize