What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
