omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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